Ha Long Bay sunset
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I am breaking my silence with some trepidation. I suspended this blog in August 2013 after my ex-wife emerged from the ether to threaten another law-suit in an attempt to get more money from me six years after our settlement. A settlement which was, in my opinion extremely generous. I signed over the entire equity in our former family home and all of it's contents, 50% of my pension rights, and maintenance equivalent to 60% of my income till our son left school, 50% till our daughter finished school a year later and 20% till my retirement. What did I take? After the outstanding bank loans for improvements to the family home were paid off, I had about £30k to start a new life. As my new wife was a PhD student, this small amount was absorbed by living costs until the maintenance reduced. Oh, and I took my beloved Hi-Fi and collection of LPs and CDs and my clothes plus one of the three family cars. Was I bitter? Not a bit of it. Starting again with nearly nothing was the most exciting thing I've ever done, the best decision I ever made. The two children of the marriage deserved to be allowed to continue their lives as unaffected as possible by their parents' joint failure. I believe I gave them security.
Angkor sunrise - for balance
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Happily, my ex saw sense and withdrew the application for the various orders which would have ruined both of us. I think she had come to think that, with all the luxury travel, I must have some secret source of income which she felt entitled to a share of. We met up for a convivial lunch in October after a long e-mail conversation and I explained a few things about the tricks of the travelling trade (not all of which I am willing to publish - if you want advice on how to travel in luxury at budget prices, the advice is available for a small fee). Still, it was a chastening experience which left me with a feeling that my every post, every move and step might be followed and scrutinised as evidence of value someone could screw out of me. That seems very unjust to me and especially to my wife who is surely entitled to pursue her career goals free of the fear of extortion in the event of success. I find the British law on divorce and financial settlement very strange. Where a couple have built a life together and a wife has paused her career to have children with the agreement of her husband, she can fairly be said to have contributed to his career development. When, years after their separation, the husband launches an entirely separate venture of which the ex-wife has no knowledge or involvement, how could she possibly be seen as deserving a share of the proceeds? Even more so the career of a new wife. That women are encouraged to believe they may be so entitled is a very distorted view of equality in my view.
So, now I've got that off my chest, back to our travels. We have been busier than ever this past 11 months, taking in Dubai, Tokyo, Kyoto, Abu Dhabi (twice), Maldives, Shanghai, Ha Noi, Ha Long, Da Nang (where we had to run away from Typhoon Haiyan) Singapore, Siem Reap (and Angkor Wat, a bucket-list destination) Luang Prabang and Vientiane (Laos) Bangkok (numerous times) Hua Hin (again) KL (lots) Kota Kinabalu and Sandakan in Malaysian Borneo. Closer to home, we visited Warsaw and Milan and have made a few trips back to Blighty for family occasions.
So, now I've got that off my chest, back to our travels. We have been busier than ever this past 11 months, taking in Dubai, Tokyo, Kyoto, Abu Dhabi (twice), Maldives, Shanghai, Ha Noi, Ha Long, Da Nang (where we had to run away from Typhoon Haiyan) Singapore, Siem Reap (and Angkor Wat, a bucket-list destination) Luang Prabang and Vientiane (Laos) Bangkok (numerous times) Hua Hin (again) KL (lots) Kota Kinabalu and Sandakan in Malaysian Borneo. Closer to home, we visited Warsaw and Milan and have made a few trips back to Blighty for family occasions.
Fishing boats - Kota Kinabalu
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So many destinations it is hard to know where to begin. Malaysia continues to excite and delight us with the variety of its culture, food and wildlife. Mrs d2t had always wanted to see orang utans in the wild, so we plotted a course to Malaysian Borneo as the most accessible and cheapest way to catch a glimpse of these fascinating, laid-back relatives. There are very frequent flights from KL to Kota Kinabalu which just happens to have an excellent Hyatt Regency. From KK, Air Asia operates a very cheap service to Sandakan in the east. We caught the 7am flight out of KK to be sure to arrive at Sepilok Orang Utan Rehabilitation Centre for breakfast (their's, not ours). From Sandakan airport it is possible to pick up a taxi and negotiate a very reasonable rate to retain your car and driver for the day. Ours agreed to take us wherever we wanted from our arrival at 7:45 'till our return to Sandakan airport at 6pm for only MYR190 (about $60). He probably felt he'd made a killing, we felt safe. It is possible to see properly-wild orangs in Borneo but not without a pretty uncomfortable trek through jungle with quite a lot of hazards. Even at tame Sepilok you have to put on anti-leech socks if you leave the boardwalk. It may seem a little sad to describe meeting these fantastic creatures in a setting where there is no barrier between us and them as underwhelming but they aren't the most lively animals in the woods. In fact they seem downright lazy. Interestingly, our orangs made no attempt to chase away a large macaque who came to nick all their bananas.
Sepilok's semi-wild orang utans
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What delighted us far more and provided a much more vivid experience was the support act. A few miles from Sepilok, at Labuk Bay is a sanctuary for Proboscis Monkeys. It was founded on land that had been bought, like so much of Borneo, for clearance and oil palm planting. The owner fell in love with the monkeys and so we have the opportunity to get up close and personal with one of the most beautiful and also strangest-looking monkeys ever to inhabit our amazing planet.
Known to the locals as "orang belanda" or "dutchman" on account of their resemblance to early Dutch colonists in these parts (big nose, big belly) and unique to the island ecosystem of Borneo, these wonderful animals exhibit all the usual social hierarchical behaviour of apes the world over. It is easy to spot the alpha-male (who spookily reminds me of Bob De Niro) and there is a huge group of beta-males who hang together with a hangdog expression. The cute little babies have blue faces and cling to their mothers' fur scanning the horizon anxiously. We watched with fascination as one mother was clearly weaning her offspring, allowing a little breast then pulling back and giving a taste of the fruit and bread from the organised feeding. We were treated to a full-on territorial threat display from the "first wife" who ran across the boardwalk in front of us slapping her palms loudly on the boards as she ran. Then, to cap it off, a mating right in front of us as the alpha male took his post-prandial treat.
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What delighted us far more and provided a much more vivid experience was the support act. A few miles from Sepilok, at Labuk Bay is a sanctuary for Proboscis Monkeys. It was founded on land that had been bought, like so much of Borneo, for clearance and oil palm planting. The owner fell in love with the monkeys and so we have the opportunity to get up close and personal with one of the most beautiful and also strangest-looking monkeys ever to inhabit our amazing planet.
Known to the locals as "orang belanda" or "dutchman" on account of their resemblance to early Dutch colonists in these parts (big nose, big belly) and unique to the island ecosystem of Borneo, these wonderful animals exhibit all the usual social hierarchical behaviour of apes the world over. It is easy to spot the alpha-male (who spookily reminds me of Bob De Niro) and there is a huge group of beta-males who hang together with a hangdog expression. The cute little babies have blue faces and cling to their mothers' fur scanning the horizon anxiously. We watched with fascination as one mother was clearly weaning her offspring, allowing a little breast then pulling back and giving a taste of the fruit and bread from the organised feeding. We were treated to a full-on territorial threat display from the "first wife" who ran across the boardwalk in front of us slapping her palms loudly on the boards as she ran. Then, to cap it off, a mating right in front of us as the alpha male took his post-prandial treat.
Proboscis monkeys at Labuk Bay sanctuary.